Guilty

All of a sudden, like some kind of jinx... things are taking a different turn for the worse
Things are not looking bright for me this year
I wonder if it's partly my fault, for the most of it...
Have I gotten numb and indifferent after all these years?
I don't care... but at the same time I still care
Is this what all this is, always contradicting myself?
I may have just dug my own grave...
I may not be an excellent student, but I'm not a bad one either
I always get things done, except for a few slip-ups
Let's face it, everyone has their moments of weakness... and maybe because I'm too vulnerable that I let it get the better of me, let it interfere with my studies
I'm always careful with my attendance, so it comes as a shock when I was informed that my name was in the bar list earlier
I was stupefied, because I know I did not exceed the number of times to really get barred
So what the hell happened?
This is my first time encountering anything like this, so I'm really... I have no idea what to do
I'm tired of all this, and there are so many things holding me back
Things are not going smoothly like how I wanted it to be
I need a wake up call... perhaps the helix wasn't good enough
Also, the dog that we welcomed to our home earlier... we named him Max
He hasn't been with us for even a day, and now it has ran off
Which is also partly my fault, it was raining heavily and I let go of his leash, because his place was getting wet
I woke up and a phone call from my mum told me that he had run away, because the gate was open
My other dog Russell charged at the gate till it jarred open
That evil dog, we guessed he had a motive for doing so... maybe he was jealous of all the attention we were showing to Max
But damn, he can be so cunning and calculated!
And here I thought Max could be with us longer... I even named him Max!!!
Gawd, what is happening?!?!
Can this get any more depressing?
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