Turning Point

Today is Friday and I don't have classes today, usually
Well that's what's written in my timetable but I went anyway for a replacement class
We learned how to use Flash today, and learnt Dreamweaver the other day
It's kinda fun, really...
But I'm kinda worried because in our final exam we'll be tested and graded based on practical knowledge using the lab computers... that has gotta be a first *shudders*
I can't believe I'm graduating soon, sometime May of next year
How many years has it been?
Being in foundations was all fun and then a first year freshman in degree, second year went unnoticed and now finally, being a third year senior except I don't actually feel like a senior
I feel like it's not that long ago when I was a still freshman and what happened in between then and now is all a blur of events, some of which I cannot remember
I just can't wait to graduate and do what I want, what I've been waiting for
I had it all thought out, but some might think it's not that much of a plan
Like my mum for instance, got some sounding from her the other day
I thought of taking a little break after I graduate, just to relax abit and do some exploring, and by exploring I don't necessarily mean traveling all around the world, no
But nooooo... she wanted me to find a job asap and start supporting myself
I know they have expectations of me, roles that I should fill
And I'm not saying that I'm not gonna do it, I'm not saying I don't wanna work
I'll definitely do it for sure, sooner or later
But I just wish they'd be more understanding of me, don't they know that I need this?
These past four years of being in uni, I felt like an empty shell
Succumbing to their commands, listening to their orders, doing what they wanted me to do, learning what they wanted me to learn, sitting for their exams, trying my darnest to get good grades for said exams all so because I must meet their requirements
But hey... what about me? what about what I want?
Oh mum, if you only knew what I had to go through these past 4 years
You said it all as if it was nothing, easy as peas
After all that I've put up with, don't I at least deserve a little break?
I just want abit of alone time to really get my thoughts straight, get to know the world that I'm about to step in and be a part of, the strange and foreign world of adulthood that I used to look at with my naive and ignorant eyes
It feels so surreal that I'm finally turning into an adult myself, and the thought of making sacrifices and trying to fit into a different kind of world actually scares me more than I would admit
The thought never crossed my mind before, if it did... I didn't expect it to be so soon
The time has finally come and it's knocking on my front door
It's time I started thinking about myself, for myself
I'll be living for myself after all, so why don't I get to decide?
I've always been so sheltered, from when I was born and started kindergarten, through primary and secondary schools and now university
What am I going to do when this shelter is taken away after I graduate and expected to fend for myself when I know nothing of the outside world?
It's gonna be brutal and harsh and definitely not easy and I just know it, had a pre-trial run with my internship
But I also know it's gonna be okay because my family and friends are with me


p/s: Darn, I have a class tomorrow from 12 to 3!!! D: