Canine Issues

Oh em gee... my dog has issues!
My dog has developed a new behaviour, he's rebelling against me!
According to mum, he dashed out when she opened the gates
She said he went to look for his girlfriend, if she even exists -_-
I scoffed of course, why does such a small dog wanna have a girlfriend for?
Or the question should be, why would any female dog want a dwarf piglet like my Russell?
I was gonna give him a scolding when he gets back
A while later, he was back and calling for the door -_-"
I always feel this role reversal when I, the master, have to open door for my slave, the dog, how ironic is that?
But I'll let it go because he cannot possibly open the door for me -_-
But that does not mean I have to open the door for him almost everytime he runs out!
He shouldn't be running out in the first place, damn hormones... my dog is a delinquent and he's rebelling against me!
So he stood outside the gates while I'm on the inside
I was scolding him like, "Stupid dog, how dare you run out?!"
And then I was kind enough to open the door and let him in
But the rascal thought I was out to get him, and he had the nerve to step away like he was trying to run away
I motioned for him to come in and called him in, but he just stood at the same spot
It's not until I surrender and step aside and held the door wide open only he came in -_-
I could not believe it, since when my dog became such a coward and couldn't trust me!
So I complained about his behavior to my mum
And my mum said, "I know already, he's like that now, cannot scold him or he'll run away"
Like whuuuut? So he's sensitive and emo now?
Sigh, he was too pampered, it's too late to discipline him now
The next dog I get, I'm gonna make sure I train him to be disciplined and obey orders!
I'll even make him fetch the newspaper and open doors for me!
I'll train him to say "welcome home" too!
LOL~ yea sure, keep on dreaming...